1godzillafan
12-28-2004, 08:08 PM
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DVD Review
Movie Rating: *** 1/2 out of ****
Extras Rating: *** 1/2 out of ****
Movie Review: Bad movies come in many shapes and forms. Most noted about are two types, just plain bad and so bad it's good. But there are many sub-genres that can be split out of this as well. Lets start off with the bad movie that tries to be smart but fails miserably at it (these tend to be the worst). We've been getting a lot of these lately, most notably being What Lies Beneath, Vanilla Sky, The Ring, Identity, and all of M. Night Shymalon's movies. Then there's the type that know full well how dumb they are, but try to fool the audience into thinking that they're smart. Luckily there haven't been many of these, but the list did grow with Kill Bill. Next we have the dumb moives that just try too hard and take the fun out of it *cough*Charlie's Angels*cough*. Then there are movies that are just dumb and dull, like Dreamcatcher. Finally we have those movies that all the critics seem to give "Two Middle Fingers Up" to and you just can't find it in your heart to hate. I've had this feeling many time. I fully realize that Child's Play 3 is trash, as well as Godzilla vs. Gigan. So what makes these films better than all of the previous ones I listed? I enjoyed watching them.
I was already a little biased going into this movie. I got a soft spot for action flicks in horror settings. Sometimes there comes out one that just towers above the rest: Predator, Underworld, Aliens. There's also the type that's just plain fun to watch, the Blade soon-to-be Trilogy (I also like this because it reveals vampires to be the wusses that they really are, vampires=most unscariest horror creation ever). So where do the Resident Evil movies lie upon all of this? I thought they were both somewhat entertaining. How entertaining? For this we have to look at my Amusing-Trash-O-Meter. I have come up with three levels all represented by a Nightmare on Elm Street movie. The lowest on this meter is Nightmare on Elm Street 4: the Dream Master. Midground would be Freddy's Dead: the Final Nightmare. The highest would be Freddy vs. Jason. Overall I would give the original RE a Dream Master, and RE:A gets a Freddy vs. Jason.
Finally, after all this babbling about cinema trash I get to the point. And for those of you who don't understand what the hell I said or skipped those pointless paragraphs, that point is Resident Evil: Apocalypse is more entertaining than the original.
Is it still dumb? You bet. But it never tries to be anything else. I mean, in what other zombie flick would you see the heroes wondering around in a cemetary even though they know the dead have risen? Not very many. Why? Because it should have been common sense.
So if this movie is so dumb, why do I like it? Why did I like Blade? It's plot made no sense. If I liked Blade, I see no problem in enjoying this, whereas this movie had a pumping pace and Blade was melodramatic and dull in several spots. Maybe my enjoyment has something to do with Jill Valentine being totaly hot (her hips alone were worth the price of admission). Some things you just can't explain, liking an amusing bad movie is one of them. If it rocks your boat, go with it.
I must point out, however, that this movie's ending is open for another sequel, just like the original. The original's ending made sense, because it was somewhat a kick in the ass. The ending to this one is just annoying. I won't spoil it, but if RE3 never gets made, this ending will be so "what the hell?"
The final question that must be asked is "would I see a RE3?" To that I just respond "I saw the second one, didn't I?"
NOTE: This review was written while the movie was in theaters. Since then, the third film, Resident Evil: Afterlife, has been greenlighted and all complaints about the end of Apocalypse can be lifted.
Extras Review: First let me say that the case to this movie is completly bitchin'. I've hated those useless cardboard covers they're currently putting on DVD's since day one, but this actually makes the that casing part of the artwork. I'm not sure if this is the first time something like this has been done (I think that the Underworld Extended Cut might have done the same thing, but I don't own that DVD so I don't know), but it's very neat to look at.
As for the features, they're a cool and somewhat fun bunch:
Audio Commentaries: Haven't listened to any of them yet, but I was pretty shocked when I saw that there were three. The first one's with director Alexander Witt (take note, those who hate these movies with a passion, this man's responsible for this one. It's his blood you want), producer Jeremy Bolt, and executive producer Robert Kultzer. The second is with actors Milla Jovovich, Oded Fehr, and Sienna Guillory. And the final one is with writter/producer Paul WS Anderson (who most of you have on that list just above Alexander Witt) and producer Jeremy Bolt (again). Personally, I think Anderson and Witt should have done their commentaries together for a before and after point of view. But hey, it's not my DVD.
Game Over: Resident Evil Reanimated: Standard making of. Fun watch for those like me who love hearing how these things get made.
Game Babes: This is for all the horny viewers who dream of threesomes with Alice and Jill. They talk about how sexy they are and how much training it took for them to kick high. They also talk about how cold it was while they were wearing skimpy outfits. Despite that, they don't talk about the subject of hard nipples, which is what you know is running through the minds of those who put this featurette together.
Symphony of Evil: This consists of before and after shots of effects scenes, storyboards, and costume tests. Neat feature and much better than the average "look how we did this on the computer" featurette (yes, I understand that it took a long time, but do I have to see every fucking minute of it?!).
Corporate Malfeasance: This featurette tells us how Resident Evil: Apocalypse mirrors real life. Needless to say, this featurette is very, very short.
Deleated Scenes: Nothing importent. But more of Jill (but sadly, not more of Jill. But with that outfit, I'll gladly let my imagination fill in the gaps).
Outtakes: Standard blown lines and improvising. My girl Jill even gives us some tongue action (yeah baby!). There's no question that the best part of this is Mike Epps being Mike Epps.
Poster Gallery: Five posters that fans of the first movie designed. Interesting feature.
Previews: And, of course, comes the blatant product placement. These shameless plugins include...
Boogeyman (has Sam Raimi's name on it, I'll see it eventually)
Steamboy (not into anime, I'll pass)
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (nothing to say here)
Resident Evil (seen it, moderatly amusing, nowhere near the level I enjoyed the sequel)
Underworld (seen it, loved it's additude, style, and story)
Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid (looks even worse than the first one, and if you knew how much I loathe Jennifer Lopez, that's saying something)
The Grudge (see Boogeyman)
The Forgotten (looks interesting, but more of a wait 'til DVD interesting)
House of Flying Daggers (hmmm...a bunch of Asians and no Godzilla in sight. Not into these foreign art films, I haven't even seen Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon yet)
The Fifth Element (saw it a long time ago. Remember liking it, but don't remember why)
Get to the damn point already: Go ahead and bash this movie. Hell, I'll even join you. I can't deny that this is one of the stupidest and over-the-top movies ever made. But that won't stop me from enjoying it. The movie sucks, but it seems to have a passion for sucking as hard as it does. This alone is more entertaining than a lot of movies I've seen all year.
Let the IQs hit the floor, baby!
DVD Review
Movie Rating: *** 1/2 out of ****
Extras Rating: *** 1/2 out of ****
Movie Review: Bad movies come in many shapes and forms. Most noted about are two types, just plain bad and so bad it's good. But there are many sub-genres that can be split out of this as well. Lets start off with the bad movie that tries to be smart but fails miserably at it (these tend to be the worst). We've been getting a lot of these lately, most notably being What Lies Beneath, Vanilla Sky, The Ring, Identity, and all of M. Night Shymalon's movies. Then there's the type that know full well how dumb they are, but try to fool the audience into thinking that they're smart. Luckily there haven't been many of these, but the list did grow with Kill Bill. Next we have the dumb moives that just try too hard and take the fun out of it *cough*Charlie's Angels*cough*. Then there are movies that are just dumb and dull, like Dreamcatcher. Finally we have those movies that all the critics seem to give "Two Middle Fingers Up" to and you just can't find it in your heart to hate. I've had this feeling many time. I fully realize that Child's Play 3 is trash, as well as Godzilla vs. Gigan. So what makes these films better than all of the previous ones I listed? I enjoyed watching them.
I was already a little biased going into this movie. I got a soft spot for action flicks in horror settings. Sometimes there comes out one that just towers above the rest: Predator, Underworld, Aliens. There's also the type that's just plain fun to watch, the Blade soon-to-be Trilogy (I also like this because it reveals vampires to be the wusses that they really are, vampires=most unscariest horror creation ever). So where do the Resident Evil movies lie upon all of this? I thought they were both somewhat entertaining. How entertaining? For this we have to look at my Amusing-Trash-O-Meter. I have come up with three levels all represented by a Nightmare on Elm Street movie. The lowest on this meter is Nightmare on Elm Street 4: the Dream Master. Midground would be Freddy's Dead: the Final Nightmare. The highest would be Freddy vs. Jason. Overall I would give the original RE a Dream Master, and RE:A gets a Freddy vs. Jason.
Finally, after all this babbling about cinema trash I get to the point. And for those of you who don't understand what the hell I said or skipped those pointless paragraphs, that point is Resident Evil: Apocalypse is more entertaining than the original.
Is it still dumb? You bet. But it never tries to be anything else. I mean, in what other zombie flick would you see the heroes wondering around in a cemetary even though they know the dead have risen? Not very many. Why? Because it should have been common sense.
So if this movie is so dumb, why do I like it? Why did I like Blade? It's plot made no sense. If I liked Blade, I see no problem in enjoying this, whereas this movie had a pumping pace and Blade was melodramatic and dull in several spots. Maybe my enjoyment has something to do with Jill Valentine being totaly hot (her hips alone were worth the price of admission). Some things you just can't explain, liking an amusing bad movie is one of them. If it rocks your boat, go with it.
I must point out, however, that this movie's ending is open for another sequel, just like the original. The original's ending made sense, because it was somewhat a kick in the ass. The ending to this one is just annoying. I won't spoil it, but if RE3 never gets made, this ending will be so "what the hell?"
The final question that must be asked is "would I see a RE3?" To that I just respond "I saw the second one, didn't I?"
NOTE: This review was written while the movie was in theaters. Since then, the third film, Resident Evil: Afterlife, has been greenlighted and all complaints about the end of Apocalypse can be lifted.
Extras Review: First let me say that the case to this movie is completly bitchin'. I've hated those useless cardboard covers they're currently putting on DVD's since day one, but this actually makes the that casing part of the artwork. I'm not sure if this is the first time something like this has been done (I think that the Underworld Extended Cut might have done the same thing, but I don't own that DVD so I don't know), but it's very neat to look at.
As for the features, they're a cool and somewhat fun bunch:
Audio Commentaries: Haven't listened to any of them yet, but I was pretty shocked when I saw that there were three. The first one's with director Alexander Witt (take note, those who hate these movies with a passion, this man's responsible for this one. It's his blood you want), producer Jeremy Bolt, and executive producer Robert Kultzer. The second is with actors Milla Jovovich, Oded Fehr, and Sienna Guillory. And the final one is with writter/producer Paul WS Anderson (who most of you have on that list just above Alexander Witt) and producer Jeremy Bolt (again). Personally, I think Anderson and Witt should have done their commentaries together for a before and after point of view. But hey, it's not my DVD.
Game Over: Resident Evil Reanimated: Standard making of. Fun watch for those like me who love hearing how these things get made.
Game Babes: This is for all the horny viewers who dream of threesomes with Alice and Jill. They talk about how sexy they are and how much training it took for them to kick high. They also talk about how cold it was while they were wearing skimpy outfits. Despite that, they don't talk about the subject of hard nipples, which is what you know is running through the minds of those who put this featurette together.
Symphony of Evil: This consists of before and after shots of effects scenes, storyboards, and costume tests. Neat feature and much better than the average "look how we did this on the computer" featurette (yes, I understand that it took a long time, but do I have to see every fucking minute of it?!).
Corporate Malfeasance: This featurette tells us how Resident Evil: Apocalypse mirrors real life. Needless to say, this featurette is very, very short.
Deleated Scenes: Nothing importent. But more of Jill (but sadly, not more of Jill. But with that outfit, I'll gladly let my imagination fill in the gaps).
Outtakes: Standard blown lines and improvising. My girl Jill even gives us some tongue action (yeah baby!). There's no question that the best part of this is Mike Epps being Mike Epps.
Poster Gallery: Five posters that fans of the first movie designed. Interesting feature.
Previews: And, of course, comes the blatant product placement. These shameless plugins include...
Boogeyman (has Sam Raimi's name on it, I'll see it eventually)
Steamboy (not into anime, I'll pass)
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (nothing to say here)
Resident Evil (seen it, moderatly amusing, nowhere near the level I enjoyed the sequel)
Underworld (seen it, loved it's additude, style, and story)
Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid (looks even worse than the first one, and if you knew how much I loathe Jennifer Lopez, that's saying something)
The Grudge (see Boogeyman)
The Forgotten (looks interesting, but more of a wait 'til DVD interesting)
House of Flying Daggers (hmmm...a bunch of Asians and no Godzilla in sight. Not into these foreign art films, I haven't even seen Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon yet)
The Fifth Element (saw it a long time ago. Remember liking it, but don't remember why)
Get to the damn point already: Go ahead and bash this movie. Hell, I'll even join you. I can't deny that this is one of the stupidest and over-the-top movies ever made. But that won't stop me from enjoying it. The movie sucks, but it seems to have a passion for sucking as hard as it does. This alone is more entertaining than a lot of movies I've seen all year.
Let the IQs hit the floor, baby!