Cyberseks?

[eSJayBee]

http://5lmustang.com/cybersek.htm

;)

[Atrax robustus]

WAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Brilliant.

Gotta love folk taking the piss out of those cyber freaks! :D

[XChick03]

Uh-huh....

Guess I just never saw the appeal. What do you actually get from typing up a fake sex scene???

:confused:

[Captain Bryan]

The Rino one is funny as hell:D

[eSJayBee]

reminds me of a regular conversation between Bryan and I. ;) :p

[XChick03]

I like the pizza one. :D

[XChick03]

Originally posted by eSJayBee
reminds me of a regular conversation between Bryan and I. ;) :p

SJB, you scare me. :(

;)

[eSJayBee]

yea, I get that a lot

[XChick03]

Just as long as you know. :D

[eSJayBee]

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse,
a black leather mini skirt and high-heeled boots. I am
tanned and very buffed. I workout everyday. My
measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and
have on a pair of blue sweatpants I just bought at
Walmart. I'm also wearing an old T-shirt, it's got
some barbecue sauce stains on it and it smells kind of
funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music
playing on the stereo and candles on my nightstand. I
look up into your eyes and I'm smiling. My hand works
its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel your
huge swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your
chest.

Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands
are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm
sliding it softly off.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The
cool silk slides off of my warm body. I'm rubbing your
bulge faster now, rubbing and pulling.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears
a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too
expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy
black bra; my soft breasts are rising and falling as I
breathe harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra; I
think it's stuck. Do you have scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I
reach behind my back and undo the clasp. My bra slides
off. The cool air caresses my breasts, my nipples are
erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra
and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want
to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your,
you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair.
Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered
with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts
with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you
and throwing it in the corner of the room.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and
rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are
cold! Yeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my
panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is
going all over, in and out and nibbling on you. Ummm,
wait a second.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat.
I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all
red.

Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly.
Looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups??

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's
better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.

Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back
in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the
bedroom. Wait it's dark, I'm lost. Where is the
bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the
hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so
badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies
pressed against each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my
face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?

Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing
my glasses on the nightstand.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me
baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly
to the bathroom

Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm
feeling around for the toilet and lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the
flush handle. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I just realized I peed in your hamper. Sorry
again. I'm walking back to the bed now. Blindly
feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in
your umm, woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so
nice. Ma'am, I'm having a little problem here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't
wait another second. Slide it in! Screw me!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an
incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my
wiener all floppy. I'm looking for my glasses to see
what the problem is.

Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm
putting on my underwear and my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm
reaching across the dresser, knocking off cans of
hairspray, your picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my
shoes.

Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of
your candles fell on the curtain! The curtain is on
fire. I'm pointing at it with a
shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!!

[Captain Bryan]

BWAHAHAHAHA!:D

[Amirius]

Hahahahahahahahaha. oh thats priceless