Quarter Four: The Movie

[1godzillafan]

The following preview has been approved for absolutly no audience. Rest assured, this will hit the shelf for two years before dying on DTV.

(the screen is blank. Dark sinister music begins playing, finally text begins to appear)

HOW LONG

(screen turns black again, but instantly...)

CAN FOUR GUYS SHARE AN APARTMENT

(screen begins to pan out of a dark window, panning down the apartment slowly)

BEFORE IT BECOMES BORING?

(the music becomes high and dramatic as the four figures...Jay, Dwak, Saadji, and Bry...standing lone in superhero poses in front of the building.

Blank screen...)

ONE WILL RISE TO LEAD THEM

(screen slowly brightens to show Jay, standing alone, holding his head high, looking bave, noble, and about to cry in self pity. It is an uber cool Batman moment, until Bry runs up and pushes him off the screen. Bry raises his fists in a total Rocky pose)

BUT THE OTHERS DON'T GIVE A DAMN

From director Michael Bay

Acadamy Award Winner Jamie Foxx as Jay

Jay: (talking on the phone) Yeah, it's cool here. Having roomates isn't as bad as I thought it would.

(walks into the living room, discovers Bry and Dwak sleeping on the couch in their underwear, their mouths gaping wide)

Jay: Mostly...

Acadamy Award Nominee Edward Norton as Dwak

Dwak: (sitting behind a desk at the video store) This job is great. Just like Clerks.

(Dwak holds up porn magazine when his boss walks by)

Boss: (sees porno) You're fired.

Dwak: What?

Acadamy Award Nominee Will Smith as Saadji

(Saadji walks out in the front yard as an alien ship lands)

Saadji: Aw heeeeeeeell no...

(various clips of Saadji kicking alien ass)

And Acadamy Award Winner Philip Seymour Hoffman as Bry

(close up of Bry's face)

Bry: Do you have a wife? Girlfriend? Whoever she is, I'm gonna find her...and I'm gonna hurt her. And then I'm going to kill you right in front of her.

(Dwak smacks Bry)

Dwak: That's the last time I let you rent a Tom Cruise movie from my store.

Bry: Dude! I was just kidding! I want my Risky Business!

(series of quickflashes ensues as the chorus begins singing higher and louder:

Saadji staring up at the sky, fists in the air, screaming...

Jay driving at speeds up to 35 MPH with Michael Bay shakycam...

More of Saadji screaming...

Dwak watching an action movie on the TV at work...

Saadji's still screaming...

Bry aggressivly playing boxing on Nintendo Wii...

Saadji screaming...

Screen falls black. A giant silver letter appears)

Q

(letter flips around to reveal a number)

4

(we pan back to find the "4" on Dwak's TV at work)

Dwak: Wow, that flick looks awful.

(screen goes black again)

APRIL 4, 2044

www.itsyourquarter.com

[eSJayBee]

I laughed at that. It's very cool. :D

I like that you cast two black guys to play to Desi characters. ;) Hoffman as Bry is hilarious. :up:

The beginning where Jay is standing like Batman and then Bry comes out of nowhere, shoves him and does the Rocky victory post is hilarious.

[1godzillafan]

I like that you cast two black guys to play to Desi characters. ;)


I'm not good with ethnicities. I just picked the people I thought were least likely to play these characters, so I ran my finger through an Oscar list.

Although PSH was always Bry. I had nobody else in mind.

[Captain Bryan]

I have to register that domain.

[eSJayBee]

I'm not good with ethnicities. I just picked the people I thought were least likely to play these characters, so I ran my finger through an Oscar list.

Although PSH was always Bry. I had nobody else in mind.
Who would you pick for Uncle Rahul and Ingrid?

And I think Bryan should have a cameo as the border guy (http://www.quarter-four.com/index.php?strip_id=21). (;)@Bryan)

[1godzillafan]

Who would you pick for Uncle Rahul and Ingrid?


How about.....Morgan Freeman and.....Rachel Wiesz.

Not neccessarily in that order.

[eSJayBee]

Not neccessarily in that order.
Now I know how the fans felt when Kingpin became a black guy in DD and Terry Fitzgerald became a white guy in Spawn. :p

Good work, though. It got me chuckling.

[1godzillafan]

I still like MCD as the Kingpin. I don't believe anyone else could have pulled it off (at least, nobody that's a decent actor).

[eSJayBee]

And you think that justifies casting Morgan Freeman as Ingrid? :wtf:

[1godzillafan]

It depends on how well his hair grows out.

[eSJayBee]

Can't wait to see Will Smith and Ed Norton near Ingrid...

[1godzillafan]

Don't forget Jay's visit with Rahul...

Jay: Uncle...you got hot...must...tear...out...eyes!

[Smash'n Bash]

Please not Micheal Bay as the director, I'll be counting his cuts the entire time. :(

[eSJayBee]

Please not Micheal Bay as the director, I'll be counting his cuts the entire time. :(
I don't know bout you but I'd rather Bay than, say, Brett Ratner.

[Smash'n Bash]

I don't know bout you but I'd rather Bay than, say, Brett Ratner.


How about someone good, like Guy Ritchie?

[Marko]

you left out Samuel L Jackson though... every movie has to have Samuel L Jackson in it.

[eSJayBee]

Sam Jackson can be Border Guy, maybe? (sorry Bryan. Windu takes precedence)




How about someone good, like Guy Ritchie?
I've never seen any of his movies.... :|

[Smash'n Bash]

I've never seen any of his movies.... :|

You've never seen Snatch or Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels?

[eSJayBee]

Nope. Like I said.

[Drakon]

Oh shit.

1GF, you just made my life worth living. That was comedic, and perfect casting for the two white guys. I man-love you , dude.

[Smash'n Bash]

Nope. Like I said.

Go forth now and see them. Now. :smad:

[eSJayBee]

I'll put it on my "To do" list. And for anyone who knows me, you'll know I'll probably never get around to it THIS year.

[Smash'n Bash]

I'm going to find you and tie you to a chair with your eyes duck taped open and make you watch them.

[eSJayBee]

You'd have to cross the border and come all the way to French Land.

[Smash'n Bash]

I've been there before.

[eSJayBee]

...I'll put them on my "to do" list.

[1godzillafan]

I don't know bout you but I'd rather Bay than, say, Brett Ratner.

Brett Ratner is the man. Anyone involved in Rush Hour has all the love I have to give.

[1godzillafan]

Oh shit.

1GF, you just made my life worth living. That was comedic, and perfect casting for the two white guys. I man-love you , dude.

I think you're just happy I cast Norton as you. You're welcome. :)

[DragnFire22]

Please not Micheal Bay as the director, I'll be counting his cuts the entire time. :(

1,2,3, cut! 1,2,3, cut! 1,2,3, cut!

[Smash'n Bash]

1,2,3, cut! 1,2,3, cut! 1,2,3, cut!


Ahhh Exactly! :smad:

[Drakon]

I think you're just happy I cast Norton as you. You're welcome. :)

Well, a little from column A...

Seriously, though, I did kinda imagine that in my head, but with the actual strip characters in my head, and first thing that came to mind...

"Animated Series"

And imagine the merchandising rights! Looking at the SUV beside you, and there's a suction-cupped Bry starting back at you with that million dollar grin.

[eSJayBee]

A Q4 animated series wouldn't be bad. Or a sitcom.

[1godzillafan]

Don't sell it to NBC, SJB. They'll make everyone white and turn Dwak into a woman (maybe Saadji as well).

[Drakon]

Yeah, I can see the show now. "Three Guys, A One-Legged Girl, and A Robot."

[Shivure]

Rick James a Saadj, that would work right?

[eSJayBee]

Why do I feel like I should be insulted by this? :wtf:

"Three guys, an amputee and a dot." ?

So now we're talking about a Q4 show in the Q4 movie thread? ;) Which network do you recommend I go with? They all seem like assholes...

[1godzillafan]

CBS. You might at least get Ted Danson and Bill Cosby that way.

[Drakon]

Not TBS. They'd end up taking the worst pic of you and photoshopping it for that stupid "Very Funny" ad that they do [like they did for King of Queens].

Also, Kevin James would rock as Bry, too.

[eSJayBee]

Who would Danson and Cosby play? :wtf:

[1godzillafan]

Anyone of their choosing. It's in their contract.

[1godzillafan]

The following preview has been approved for ALL AUDIENCES...except for the blind. If you are one of them, what the fuck are you doing in a theater?

(We open upon an apartment building. Four chattering people are walking toward it)

THEY SAY THAT NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO

(they walk inside)

YOU CAN ALWAYS COME HOME

(they walk upstairs and insert their key into the lock and open the door)

UNLESS SOMEONE ELSE IS LIVING THERE

(the group walks inside to discover four people sitting on the couch: Jay, Dwak, Saadji, and Bry)

Jay: Who the hell are you?

(he looks up at the group who just entered: Jamerson, Xi, Erik, and Glitch)

Jamerson: What are you doing in our apartment?

(cut to the group of eight sitting around the apartment)

Erik: We've been fighting in Iraq for the past few years. It got boring so we decided to come back.

Dwak: And this used to be you're apartment?

Erik: Used to? Your additude needs to change. I marked my territory when we first got here.

Xi: Ew, that's nice to know.

THEY WILL TRY TO LIVE TOGETHER

(Bry walks in on Erik kicking his feet on the couch)

Bry: How dare you slum on that couch! Only I may do that!

BUT EIGHT QUARTERS MAY PROVE TO BE TOO MANY

Bry: This calls for one thing...

Erik and Bry at the same time: WAR X-MEN STYLE!

Dwak: I call the chick. I've been wantin' to wrestle her since she got here.

From executive producer Michael Bay

And director Renny Harlin

(quick cut to the front lawn in the rain, the two sides walk toward each other with pure hatred in their eyes)

Bry: SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

(they charge)

Acadamy Award Winner Jamie Foxx as Jay

Jay: (to Dwak) Have you ever thought that you might not come home...that they might not come home, have you thought of that?

Acadamy Award Nominee Edward Norton as Dwak

Dwak: (playing Game Boy) What? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.

Acadamy Award Nominee Will Smith as Saadji

(an army of Glitches head toward Saadji)

Saadji: Aw heeeeeeeell no...

(various clips of Saadji kicking robot ass)

Acadamy Award Winner Philip Seymour Hoffman as Bry

(Bry steps in front of multipal SnowBrys to take on multipal Glitches)

Bry: Attack!

Acadamy Award Winner Denzel Washington as Jamerson

Jamerson: FINISH THEM!

(Army of Glitches charge upon SnowBrys crushing them into snow powder)

Bry: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! You killed them! Now it's personal!

Acadamy Award Winner Reese Witherspoon as Xi

(Xi stands onscreen in long akward silence)

Xi: What? You want me to say something? As shortchanged as I got in the comic, I feel like I'm lucky to be in this movie at all.

Acadamy Award Nominee Johnny Depp as Erik

(a malfunctionint Glitch threateningly walks toward Erik)

Erik: You don't have to do this! You don't want to do this!

Glitch: Desire is irrelevant...

And Razzie Award Winner Arnold Schwarzenegger as Glitch


Glitch: ...I am...a cliche!

(quick cuts of ACTION!

Saadji staring up at the sky, fists in the air, screaming...

Bry running through army of Glitches with butterknives in between his fingers, playing Wolverine...

More of Saadji screaming...

Xi around and kicks ass Trinity style...

Saadji's still screaming...

Jay and Jamerson brawling off the top of the building as they fall to certain doom...

Saadji screaming...

Screen falls blank...quick cut)

Dwak: Stay with me!

Xi: Please...kill me!

(blank screen)

Q4
The Next-To-Last Stand

Coming soon...when we finish the script. Last I heard, it was coming around rather well.

On the web: www.glitchlives.com

[eSJayBee]

HAHAHAHA!

There are too many funny parts in that trailer that I can't begin to name them all. I'm loving when you do this. This one was especially brilliant. :) Though I'll point to this:
Xi: What? You want me to say something? As shortchanged as I got in the comic, I feel like I'm lucky to be in this movie at all.
:p I'd also point out Xi was East Asian but since you got black guys to play brown guys, I guess that doesn't matter. And casting Arnold Schwarzenegger as Glitch had me in stitches.

I'll ignore the fact that the original four lived in a house while the current four live in an apartment. ;)

Dragn, how do you feel about the casting on the originals?

Drakon, take down notes.

[1godzillafan]

I don't really remember small details of the original comic. Pretty much all I have in my head is "Bi-assed."

As for the actors, like I said I just throw in whoever I think is funny. For a while I was going to do Ben Affleck as Erik, but then I thought "No, Depp would be better."

[eSJayBee]

Yea it's okay. I would be SURPRISED if anyone remembered those details. You did a good job. :)

Dragn probably would have given Xi more to do if I hadn't been a bum.

That Snowbrys vs. Glitches scene reminded me of this scene from SG1 (the ships charging bit the middle):

VLr7ncibUzU

[Drakon]

And post of they year goes to......

[eSJayBee]

(screen goes black again)

APRIL 4, 2044

www.itsyourquarter.com
The above quote is the first post of the thread. I never noticed where the link actually takes you...

[1godzillafan]

Yeah, I knew it was taken. But I loved the website name I came up with, so I kept it.

[JJJIrish05]

lol.... nice.... another great trailer..... you know if only we had a few million dollars you could totally make these movies..... they just sound too good..... lol

[1godzillafan]

The following preview is rated R for Retarded. No admission will be allowed, because the movie is just too fucking stupid.

(creepy church bell type noise...

We fade in to Bry running through the house with a sledge hammer...

Creepy church bell noise...

Scene switch to Bry heaving it down, breaking an unknown object...

Creepy church bell noise...

Scene switch Saadji, Jay, and Dwak walk in to discover a broken drawing table...)

Saadji: Dude! Why'd you do that?

Bry: Just a'caus.

Saadji: That was my table! I draw my webcomic on that!

Jay: You draw a webcomic?

Saadji: Well, yeah. It's called Quarter Four...

Dwak: Bah...good ridance...I've read it and it's she-ite.

(scene switch to Saadji sitting on the ground, mourning his table...)

Saadji: With great drawing...comes great resonsibility...and my back hurts too. I want a life of my own...

THIS SUMMER

Saadji: It's Quarter Four...no more...

FREEDOM

(cut scene to Saadji hanging with Ingrid)

Ingrid: You look different...

Saadji: There was something I thought I'd have to do, I don't have to!

COMES WITH A PRICE...

(cut to Dwak holding up his hand...it's fading away)

Dwak: Wow...this is totally Back to the Future...

(the fading doesn't stop...)

Dwak: I REGRET NOTHING!

(Dwak vanishes)

Jay: Wow.

(cut to Ingred arguing with Saadji)

Ingred: Don't you see...without that comic you don't exist...NONE OF YOU EXIST!

Saadji: That's quite a harsh thing to say...

(quick flash of Jay vanishing...

...then cut to James Franco talking to Alfred Molina complete with Doc Ock gear)

Franco: My favorite webcomic has stopped updating. Bring it back.

Molina: How do I do that?

Franco: Some dude name Saadji...

(cut to Molina grabing Ingrid with one of his Ock tenticles)

Molina: (to Saadji) Update Quarter Four...or I peel the flesh off her bones...

(cut to Bry as he begins to vanish kneeling by the broken table)

Bry: There are bigger things happening here than me and you...

(Bry disappears...Saadji storms into the room with a toolbox.

Multipal cuts of Saadji repairing the table, until finally...he sits down and draws)

From executive producer Michael Bay

And writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson

Acadamy Award Winner Jamie Foxx as Jay

(Jay reappears...)

Acadamy Award Nominee Edward Norton as Dwak

(Dwak reappears...)

Acadamy Award Nominee Will Smith as Saadji

(cut to Saadji drawing on table, and dozens of vampires burst through the door)

Saadji: Aw heeeeeeeell no...

(various clips of Saadji kicking vampire ass)

And Acadamy Award Winner Philip Seymour Hoffman as Bry

(Bry reappears...

cut to Bry approaching Saadji sleeping on the couch)

Bry: Let's see who's behind the mask...

(he rips off Saadji's glasses, waking him up in the process)

Bry: Aha! It's you!

Saadji: Bry! What the fuck are you doing?!

Q4
Back to the Drawing Board

Opening...never. We didn't make enough money on the last two. We just thought we'd tease you a bit.

On the web: www.quarterpast3.com

[eSJayBee]

Hah! You always make my cheeks hurt with these trailer scripts. I'm glad my reality is inspiring your creativity. Did you wait to see if I'd update for Monday before you posted this? :p





Saadji: With great drawing...comes great resonsibility...and my back hurts too. I want a life of my own...
What's really funny about this is that Tobey Maguire apparently had back problems during Spidey 2.




Well now I'm sadder. Thanks, 1GF. :(

[1godzillafan]

I'M BACK!!! I'M BACK!!!...my back...my back...

For a long time I didn't think I was going to do another one. I just didn't have an idea I liked. I tossed around like a direct to video UNRATED thing, but it just seemed lame.

Then this whole table problem thing popped up and I got my crank working again (don't misquote me on that). Finally today I came up with something I wanted to do, so I did it.

[eSJayBee]

Well it was fitting you did it on a Monday :p

Good job, too.

[Drakon]

Simple, yet effective. Great move, duder.

[Dew k. Mosi]

I'd see it... at matinee prices only though ;)