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1godzillafan
07-23-2005, 06:09 PM
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The Island is a film destined to become infamous amung fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It's not because it's terrible, it's that it bears an uncanny resemblance between a film that appeared on the show called Parts: The Clonus Horror, but was never credited as a remake. So do I think it's a rip-off or just a coincidence (after all, Clonus was hardly a popular movie)? After seeing the final product, I have no clue. I have no problem believing that the idea itself could have been thought up by two people from two different generations, one not aware of the earlier film, but watching the movie, there are times that just feel like a carbon copy.

Many MSTies believe that Clonus as a film had potential, it just never used it the way it should. I disagree. The story itself was interesting enough, but no matter how I look at it I don't see it forming a story that will hold my attention for it's running time. Clonus attempted to do a drama, with disasterously boring results. The Island attempts an action film, which seems akward at best. Of course, the Island probably could have succeeded at what it was trying to do with a different director.

I have issues with Michael Bay, but nothing that would actually prevent me from enjoying his movies. My problem with his direction in the Island is that the story is from the point of view from two very naive characters. Michael Bay doesn't have a single naive bone in his body. I think Bay is best enjoyed with films like the Rock, which had a decent story that actually matched Bay's style, or the Bad Boys films, which themselves are nothing special yet are saved because of the joyful chemestry between Martin Lawrence and Will Smith. I daresay that Bay is even more mismatched with his material here than he was in Pearl Harbor, which is really saying something. Bay does indeed know how to construct a good action scene, however if he held back on the camera shaking and extreme closeups, he might pass off as a decent director for this project.

But of course, the story for the Island actually does succeed. But it also succeeded for Clonus as well, it was just boring. The Island is a lot spicier than Clonus, which helps keep the viewer from drifting off. It also plays off the characters' naiveness in a way that wasn't even touched in Clonus. Of course, this ends up with the required scene where the character's try to figure out the lingo. It's priceless to watch Lincoln Six Echo look confused after hearing the phrases "He's in the can" or "Taking a dump" ("Taking it where?" he asks back). Sure these are all oldies, but goodies.

But as the end credits rolled, I appreciated Arnold Schwarzenegger's the 6th Day more. I thought the idea of being replaced by a clone was more engaging and the villian was much more interesting. As for the Island, well, it's better than Clonus. Problem is, it's big, it's loud, it's blurry, it's Bay. If you have issues with that, spend your money elsewhere.

** 1/2 out of ****

Captain Bryan
07-23-2005, 07:24 PM
I was hoping it would make at least 3 if not 3 and a half.
Oh well..:\

JJJIrish05
07-24-2005, 02:38 AM
my movie theater probably wont be getting that movie!!!! wtf is that shit!!!!! we got march of the penguins but not the island!!! wtf!!!!! i wanted to see the island too!!!!!! stupid gay movie theater!!!!!! i should light it on fire..... again....., lol, that was the high light of my summer, my work on fire, lol, too bad it didn't do more damage :-/ I WANNA SEE THE ISLAND

Captain Bryan
07-24-2005, 11:46 AM
I'm going to go see March of the Penguins.:)

1godzillafan
07-24-2005, 04:07 PM
Originally posted by Captain Bryan
I'm going to go see March of the Penguins.:)

A lot of people are going to see the Penguins. That is compared to the Island. (http://www.comingsoon.net/news/topnews.php?id=10515)

If I thought one film would bomb this year, I wouldn't have guessed it to be this one (I would have placed my bets on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but I guess not many people saw the same bloody horrible trailers I have. Of course, I loathed the Willy Wonka original as well).

Drakon
07-24-2005, 05:14 PM
I'm sorry, 1GF, but I have to disagree with you, and I haven't even seen the movie. I fail to see anything wrong with a movie about cloning Scarlett Johansson.

1godzillafan
07-24-2005, 06:06 PM
Originally posted by Drakon
I'm sorry, 1GF, but I have to disagree with you, and I haven't even seen the movie. I fail to see anything wrong with a movie about cloning Scarlett Johansson.

It's probably the lack of a steamy lesbian scene between her and the clone that disappointed me.

Drakon
07-24-2005, 06:33 PM
Screw that. Two Scareltts? I'm the one who needs the steamy love making.

1godzillafan
07-24-2005, 07:12 PM
Originally posted by Drakon
Screw that.

I would if I could.

Movies205
08-02-2005, 09:49 PM
http://members.cox.net/wisesage/theisland.jpg
The Island
Directed by Michael Bay
Rating" 5/10

Man... WHAT A LET DOWN! I'm big fan of Micheal Bay, if you've read my past reviews you'll know that my guilty pleasure is action films so it's natural that I love Micheal Bay since he's made some of the best since the early 90s. Now I was excited for this film since it seemed that Micheal Bay was ready to step up to the plate and do something a little deeper, evolve if you will as a director but saddly this outing seems to be going the way of Kevin Smith's evolution a mediocre at best film that is bombing out at the Box Office. Though in fairness to Kevin Smith I really liked Jersey Girl and I'd classified that as good but the Island is... mediocre. The first half of the movie is actually surprisingly good with it's only problem being that it's a bit slow. But the minute they start using minature pac-mans to take a brain-scan, you know the movie has gone straight down the crapper! I mean WHAT THE ****? Why in god names in the future would they use little minature balls that walk to go through somebody's eye, and up the blood stream to the brain to take a scan, and then have the guy piss them out. I mean couldn't a simple cat-scan do? :confused: Also part of the reason the first half is slow is because you already know what the secret is about the Island. But other than that I think Micheal Bay does a wonderful job of showing how naivie all the people in the institution are and how shelter they are, and does a great job of unraveling the mystery, but once the mystery is unraveled it turns into one stupid long ass chase scene. Now the head honcho of the institution hires of course a bad-ass mercenary team to bring back the missing "products". Now oh my ****ing god this mercenary team must of been the cheapest of the cheap because they are so ****ing stupid. Not only do they shoot into open crowds and even kill quite a few innocent people, but there incompetence is unmet. One of them is stupid enough to stick his hand into a hole in the door where he thinks the products are, he then gets his hand staple to the door the stupid ****. THen all of sudden the mercenaries instead of capturing them decide there going kill them because no one's going ask questions about an elite squad of mercenaries shootnig into open crowds, destroy major highways, and defacing a major office building. All the while you have ewan mcgreggor saying as many cliche and stupid one liners as one can think of and of course the classic "I got get me one of those!". Scarlett Johansson should of had her paycheck for this movie address to her rack because that's the only reason she was hired for this movie. I mean I think Scarlett Johansson is one of the few good actresses in hollywood and the most she is used for is eye candy, I mean don't get wrong she's hot but it's a shame she'd waste her time on this crap. Anyway after a car chase that is almost identitical to the one in Bad Boys 2, they find themselves high up in an office building but outside on this huge letter that is attach to the building, I'm sure you've all seen it in the previews. Well these HIGHLY TRAINED mercenaries just think it's a grand idea to just shoot the hell out of it with no mind to the actual innocent people inside or the ****ING painters outside, and well of course the letter has to fall and Ewan Mcgreggor and SCarlet are just miraculously saved by out of no where a net that just comes out of no where. The movie just keeps getting stupider and stupider till you think you're watching something by Uwe Boll or some other stupid monkey, I mean Ewan Mcgreggor out of no where has memories which aren't explain at all. Well lots and lots of stupid **** happens till we finally get to the end when Ewan and Scarlet decide to return back to the institution to save there pals. Also at the SAME EXACT moment the head of the mercinary goes to retrieve his paycheck, now here's the kicker the head honcho just says job well done, I mean they only BLEW UP half of LA, killed one man directly link to the institution, and destoyed so many cars that it'll be all over the news for at least a week, yet he's done a great job and no one's ever going connect them to the scenes of the various crimes, then to top it all off you find out that the head of the mercinaries who was said to be an ex-marine in the beginning of the movie was actually some kind of slave when he was a kid and all of sudden feels bad and rushes to the aid of the clones, I MEAN WHAT THE ****! Here's a guy who the entire movie felt not one shed of guilt over killing these guys or even innocent people but now he feels bad. Then the kicker is at the end of the movie when the head-honcho who has tons of security decide to take out ewan mcgreggor himself and of course he dies and everyone is freed. The movie is just full of ****! Oh and did I mention that what the institution been doing is highly illegal and not one person from the US has ever bother to check the institution. This movie is such a crock of **** that it'll probably find itself in 50 years on an MST3k type program. What's worse is that this was a great cast and none of there talents are used at all. Anyway don't check this out unless A you plan on walking out after the first hour or you want stare at Scarlett Johansson huge rack for 2 hours.

Date Watched July 24, 2005

Captain Bryan
08-02-2005, 09:57 PM
So. Which should I watch first? The Clonus Horror, or The Island?:p

Movies205
08-02-2005, 10:02 PM
Originally posted by Captain Bryan
So. Which should I watch first? The Clonus Horror, or The Island?:p

Paint Drying:(

1godzillafan
08-02-2005, 11:25 PM
Originally posted by Captain Bryan
So. Which should I watch first? The Clonus Horror, or The Island?:p

Watch both, but Clonus only on MST3K. I can't see anyone getting through it otherwise. Peter Graves or otherwise.

Captain Bryan
08-02-2005, 11:33 PM
Of course. I have the episode on my Hard Drive right now, I haven't gotten around to it is all.
But which order should I see them in?:)

1godzillafan
08-02-2005, 11:49 PM
Originally posted by Captain Bryan
Of course. I have the episode on my Hard Drive right now, I haven't gotten around to it is all.
But which order should I see them in?:)

Go for Clonus. Seeing it first lets one truly appreciate how much the Island ripped it off.:)

Captain Bryan
08-02-2005, 11:52 PM
Will do, thanks.:D