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View Full Version : LOL! My DVD Player refused to play Catwoman!


1godzillafan
01-18-2005, 04:44 PM
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DVD Review

Movie Rating: * 1/2 out of ****
Extras Rating: *** out of ****

Movie Review: My DVD player has good taste. I rented this movie just to see if it really was as bad as the trailer made it out to be, and the first two times I put the disc in, it flat out refused to play the movie. I kept getting messages that said it couldn't read the disc. Finally it started playing, and then I saw the reason why it wouldn't play in the first place. It wanted to save me the pain of watching this movie. My DVD player underestimates me, however. I've grown an immunity to movies this bad during my many years as a Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan. I've even been known to enjoy them. Take the Resident Evil films for example, they took their incompetance to near art form, and I enjoyed every mind numbing minute of them. Catwoman on the other hand, goes far beyond "so-bad-it's-good" and overlaps itself back into bad territory. It's not the worst movie of the year (close second to Kill Bill Volume 2), but for someone who hasn't built up the MST3K immunity, this is going to be one tough sit.

The movie's director is a man who simply goes by the name Pitof. He has a background in visual effects for films like Alien: Resurrection, so you'd think he'd have some sense as to what would be eye appealing. His resulting direction, to put it simply, gives hacks a bad name. All the twisting and turning of the camera even puts Michael Bay's inability to keep the camera still to shame. I swear to god, I got dizzy even watching this on the small screen.

Don't get me started on the visual effects. The overuse of CG characters makes movies like Blade II and Daredevil look like they held themselves back. And what makes things worse is that most of these shots are closeups, which reveils how weak the character models are.

If I were forced to choose one bright spot in the entire movie, it would be Halle Berry, who despite the atrocious diologue and weak plot actually seems to be enjoying herself. The way she sneaks and slides around like a cat actually gives me the feeling that she could have pulled the role off had every other department not been so half assed. I'm not even going to mention her Catwoman outfit, however. I think we've all seen it by now and know how hideous it is.

It's hard for me to decide which big screen Catwoman outing was worse, Batman Returns or this. Catwoman is hardly the complete mess that Batman Returns was, but at least Batman Returns seemed to have some actual talent behind it. I'm going to have to give the edge to Catwoman though, simply because I like Berry better as Catwoman than I did Michelle Pfeiffer. I'll tell you one thing though, it's absolutly sad that the best big screen outing for Catwoman was the 1966 Batman movie.

Extras Review: The only worthwhile thing that resulted in the making of this movie is the DVD itself, which offers an good but small batch of extras.

The Many Faces of Catwoman - Ironic that this annoying movie has a documentary hosted by the most annoying Catwoman in history, Eartha Kitt. In this we get a pretty interesting look at the many incarnations of Catwoman. It covers the comics, the 60's Batman series and movie, Batman: the Animated Series, Batman Returns, and of course this movie.

The Making of Catwoman - Standered stuff. A bunch of people talking about the movie. Funny thing is they actually talk about it like it's some sort of cinematic experience. Sad thing is than anyone who peeked at this DVD would know better.

Deleted Scenes - They add nothing to the movie. But they resulted in making the movie shorter, so they're best left on the cutting room floor.

Trailers - Plug in time...

Catwoman (the horrible trailer that prevented me from paying more for this movie than it's actually worth. I still feel like I spent too much renting it though)
The Batman (WB's new animated series. Doesn't look too bad, but it looks weak compared to the one from the 90s)
NASCAR 3D (this movie looks like it has a better plot than Catwoman)

Get to the damn point already: Sloppy filmmaking. Watch Catwoman at your own risk. It's not as awful as other female action movies like Charlie's Angels or Tomb Raider, but some people aren't ready to suffer through things like this. It's great for a laugh if you're a MSTie, however.

Amirius
01-18-2005, 05:32 PM
Hahahaha, your DVD player does have good tastes:p . Catwomen absolutely reeked when I saw it in the theatres and I doubted the DVD would be any better.

Captain Bryan
01-18-2005, 07:36 PM
Yeah, I'm going to have to rent this...
I expected the extras to have a bit of a lower rating though, Surprise suprise:D

Atrax robustus
01-19-2005, 11:13 AM
Ill probbaly never watch this movie.

Good review though! :up:

Drakon
01-19-2005, 04:51 PM
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eSJayBee
01-19-2005, 11:14 PM
I sort of liked Tomb Raider. Visually, it was far more entertaining than CINO, imo. But you are basically corrent at every point, 1GF. Especially the action scenes with the nauseating camera movements and all. You don't know what's going on.

Captain Bryan
01-20-2005, 12:04 AM
It can't be worse than Bourne Supremacy or which ever one was the second one.

1godzillafan
01-20-2005, 01:01 AM
Originally posted by Captain Bryan
It can't be worse than Bourne Supremacy or which ever one was the second one.

Oh yes it can. And I didn't like either Bourne movie. Trust me, if Bourne's life was always that uninteresting, then I don't blame him for losing his memory.

Captain Bryan
01-20-2005, 11:17 AM
Originally posted by 1godzillafan
Oh yes it can. And I didn't like either Bourne movie. Trust me, if Bourne's life was always that uninteresting, then I don't blame him for losing his memory. I mean just the shakey cameras, I don't even care about the story.
That movie made me sick:(

Godzilla2000
01-21-2005, 10:13 AM
Please tell me you didn't pay for that CINO DVD.

*edit* Kill Bill Vol. 2 was not a bad film!

1godzillafan
01-21-2005, 12:15 PM
Originally posted by Godzilla2000
Please tell me you didn't pay for that CINO DVD.

Nope, got it for free with a gift card. Still feel cheated though.

*edit* Kill Bill Vol. 2 was not a bad film!

Yes it was.:)

eSJayBee
01-21-2005, 02:40 PM
I have fond memories of Godzilla2000's utter hatred for CINO. :x

Amirius
01-22-2005, 05:23 AM
Uhh, I think it's about time for my once in a blue moon completely dunce question: What's CINO:confused: :o ?

1godzillafan
01-22-2005, 12:19 PM
Originally posted by Amirius
Uhh, I think it's about time for my once in a blue moon completely dunce question: What's CINO:confused: :o ?

Catwoman In Name Only.

The phrase "In Name Only" thrown into the title of the movies dates back to the 1998 Godzilla film which most Godzilla fans will call GINO.

eSJayBee
01-22-2005, 02:30 PM
Yea, AMI. CINO's become a very popular name for this movie. At least for the people on boards.